11:01 p.m. - Monday, Feb. 23, 2004
The Priesthood: Because I've Got Nothing Better To Do.
I've realized that I've written a lot in this journal about becoming Catholic and in particular becoming a priest, but I've not written very much about why. Why do I want to become a priest? What is the sense in it?
I took a walk the other day and prayed the rosary. When I came back, Dave and Chris were watching the film 'Dead Man Walking' on TV. The film is based on the real-life experiences of Sister Helen Prejean, a Catholic nun who ministered to death-row inmates in Louisiana. At one point in the film, the convict, who's life is being changed by her presence, asks her why she's there instead of with her family. She responds, "If I had a husband and family, I'd be with them instead of sittin' here with you!"
That pretty much sums up the whole meaning behind the consecrated life. It is basically to give you nothing better to do. It frees you from the demands of family in order to channel all your energies into the work of Christ.
Whether that is praying, studying his Word or spending time with people who need the love of God, you simply have nothing better to do.
If Sister Helen had pursued a husband and family, the young man on death row would not have had the chance to be touched by the love of Christ. She had nothing better to do than love a person society had deemed worthless, worthy only of death. That's what it's all about.
I want to be where Christ wants me to be. To be honest, it seems like too much for me right now. I can't imagine embracing the kind of pain and heartache someone like Helen Prejean must have embraced. But if I want to be truly God's, if all the things I've said about wanting to serve God with my whole life, and my life not being my own are going to mean anything at all, then I must be ready to give everything up, as Jesus did.
Jesus had the right to have a wife and raise a family, but he denied that right. Jesus had the right to do a lot of things, because he was God. He had the right to live a normal life on earth. But he didn't. He laid down his life. He had nothing better to do than have a meal with a crook. He had nothing better to do than sit by a well with a woman of ill-repute. He had nothing better to do than touch the hand of a leper. He had nothing better to do than offer grace and forgiveness to a thief on a cross.
I'm scared, but I want to follow Christ. I really have nothing better to do.
