9:49 a.m. - Tuesday, Aug. 03, 2004
The Message 2: Apocryphal Boogaloo!
In a sign of the growing tide of ecumanism, fraternity, and a wider profit margin with our Catholic brothers and sisters, we at the NavPress family are proud to announce our newest, hippest edition of the Holy Scriptures! Look out, folks! It�s time for...
THE MESSAGE 2: APOCRYPHAL BOOGALOO!
Yes, Eugene Peterson is back! In CATHOLIC form! It�s all the hyphens and hip-talk you remember, with an apocryphal twist!
Just take a gander at this exerpt from Tobit:
You�re right-on, God,
and everything you do is right-on, too.
Everything about you is cool-neat-funky-fresh,
and you�re the Wapner-judge-guy in the court of the world!
So, Lord,
make a post-it note with my name on it and stick it on your fridge.
Look straight at me.
And don�t let my sins boomerang on me! That�d stink! Hard-core!
(Tobit 3: some verse to some other verse)
Cool! And here�s a little something from that Catholic classic, Wisdom:
Yep,
a natural-born-doofus. That�s what anybody is who don�t know that God is for-sure-no-doubt-real. These dopes who see all the really neat things God does and still don�t discover God-Who-Is-Really-Real-And-Who-Exists-For-Real are real dim-wits. What a bunch of dumb-asses, these guys who make a science out of studying all the stuff God made and still don�t give props to God-Alive-Creator-Awesome-God.
(Wisdom 13: pretty sure it�s the first verse.)
And what Catholic Bible would be complete without that craaaazy book of Maccabees!
God!
He�s my meat-and-potatoes! His goodness rocks and rolls all day long, sweet Suzie! I mean, he�s really awesome! I just can�t express this to you enough. I mean, think of somebody really awesome and then times that by, like, infinity. Then you�ve got God. Wicked-Awesome God. Not �wicked� like �bad�, but wicked/bad in the Run-DMC sense. �Not-bad-meaning-bad-but-bad-meaning-good! Huh!�
(We think that�s somewhere in Maccabees. We�re really not sure.)
So run, don�t walk,to your local Catholic bookstore/religious goods dealer and buy THE MESSAGE 2: APOCRYPHAL BOOGALOO! It�s so Catholic, you�ll drop your rosary!
And coming next spring: The Message 3: Open Up A Koran of Whoop-Ass!
