11:31 p.m. - Friday, Mar. 26, 2004
The Catholic Hits The Fan.
It has been a very interesting week.
On Tuesday I talked to my Mom and Dad. They received a letter from me the day before in which I explained the thoughts I've been having regarding Catholicism and the priesthood. Words cannot describe how huge this is.
A little background. My Dad comes from a lot of very anti-Catholic influences, everything from the Orange Lodge to Chick Publications. When he thinks of Catholicism, he thinks of people worshipping Mary and paying the church to get relatives out of purgatory.
When I think of Catholicism, I think of St. Francis of Assisi, Mother Teresa, the wisdom of the Desert Fathers, Thomas Merton, quiet meditation, and incredible wisdom for living the Christian life. Suffice to say we are coming from two very different perspectives.
So Dad thinks I've lost all sense, ignored rational thought and followed fuzzy feelings into becoming a Catholic. In actuality, it is quite the opposite. I have studied, prayed, talked, discussed, prayed, studied and prayed some more. Ironically, it is the love of the Holy Scripture that my Dad placed in me that has helped lead me to the place that I am.
Mom, of course, is a little more calm. She had not actually read my letter when I had spoken to her, but all she said was to not rush into anything, and to listen to other perspectives. Aren't Moms great?
So I've been going through a lot of upheaval this week. To some folks, this may seem like it's a strange thing to be such a big deal. I think the best comparison would be that of a son or daughter "coming out of the closet." For my Dad, becoming a Catholic may hold the same amount of shock and fear as a coming out situation would hold for someone else.
Through it all, though, my parents and I have remained on a steady diet of "I love you." I'm still kind of hurt from Dad's reaction, but I was reminded that I need to think of this as similar to how someone deals with a tragedy. Shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, and finally acceptance. I need to allow my Dad the space and time to come to terms with having a Catholic son.
Wow. So this is what gay kids must feel like. The similarities in emotions really are incredible.
Anyhoo, I love my Dad and Mom a whole lot. God's gonna help us work this out. My Dad is incredibly frustrating sometimes, but he has helped form me into the man I am today, and I know he thinks the world of me.
If a man can love someone he doesn't understand, he can do just about anything.
